As I sit here, my 3.5 year old foster daughter is snuggling up close to me, laying her head on my shoulder. Later this morning, she and I are meeting friends at Party City to buy decorations for her and her little sissy’s adoption party. Later this month, my family is *legally* going from a family of four to a family of six.
Last October 2019, Andrew and I felt a strong calling from God to pursue becoming licensed foster parents. We responded and got licensed in January 2020. The following month, in February 2020, we were placed with our two beautiful daughters. And now, less than a year after beginning this whole journey, we have an adoption date of September 25, 2020 on our calendar.
2020 has been a pretty challenging and difficult year for most people. In March, a pandemic was declared due to the novel coronavirus, COVID 19. Just 3 weeks before the pandemic began, our two precious foster daughters moved in with us.
Remember those first few months of the pandemic? The stay at home orders, school being switched to e-learning, gyms and non-essential businesses temporarily closing, and churches switched to online services. There was a lot of fear and uncertainty with all of the unknown. As challenging as those few months were with four children ages five and under in our home, it couldn’t have been better timing to allow my new family unit to bond. My husband was able to start working from home, and currently still is. Our girls had been in a handful of *amazing* foster homes before moving in with us, so they were used to transitions, change, and having different mommies and daddies. The pandemic forced us to prioritize family, clear our social calendar, and have intentional bonding time with each of our children. It forced us to rest and enjoy the simple pleasures in life.
With how smoothly everything has been this year with the girls’ case, it’s evident that God has been at work. Besides a short respite placement of two boys, our girls were our first real foster placement. My main fear when becoming a foster parent was getting too attached, and then having to deal with the mixed emotions of grief and joy at reunification. When Andrew and I felt that strong calling from God to begin this journey, we had to put all of our trust in Him. We took a pretty big step of faith. And now, everything with the upcoming adoption feels too good to be true. God is gracious, abounding in love, and works in so many ways. God heard the cries of my heart, as I pleaded with him to allow me to be the girls’ forever mommy. He answered my prayer.
As happy and excited I am about our upcoming adoption, there’s also this ache in my soul. My heart hurts. My heart hurts for the foster parents who care for God’s children for months or even years, who support reunification but then also have to grieve once their child leaves. My heart hurts for my girls’ biological parents. As a mom, I cannot imagine how hard it must be to lose a child. I know that the girls have always been loved…Loved from the beginning of their lives in their mother’s womb, when LIFE was chosen for them.
My precious daughters were loved from the beginning of their lives, and will be loved for the rest of their lives. They are such a huge gift from God to our family, a gift I feel like we don’t deserve. But God knew all along that this is how my family would be made. Two handsome biological sons, who on most days, act more like ninjas. And two sweet, but sassy, curly-haired adopted daughters. As chaotic and busy as my life is, I couldn’t be more joyful. And seeing my husband become a girl daddy has been absolutely precious. 😍
Welcome to my beautiful mess, where my hands are EXTREMELY full, but my heart is exploding with LOVE.
Melodys blog 