Background

Most people who know me, know that I’ve always had a passion for helping others. So much so, that I even got a four year Bachelor’s degree in Youth, Adult and Family Studies at Purdue University, and then worked in the social work field for five years.

I cannot pinpoint when this passion of mine started. All I know is it is a part of me, and always will be.

And most people that know me also know that I have always had a passion for adoption and foster care. Adoption has always been a part of my life because I have four cousins that were adopted it from the country of India. And then all throughout my life, I’ve had several friends that were adopted.

Over the last several years I have heard of many stories about foster care and adoption. And there have been many times that I felt my heart being tugged at while hearing those stories. And more than once, I found myself crying afterwards, whether it was in my car or at home. The only way I can describe it is that the Holy Spirit has been guiding me to this place in my life for quite some time.

Why now?

I know that I’ve always had this calling on my life…it was always just a matter of when I was going to pursue it. My husband has always known this and has always been on board. I cannot thank God enough for this special man in my life, that allows me to pursue my dreams and expand our family. My husband and I are in early 30s and we have two young boys, ages three and almost-five.

We’re a young family with two young boys…you’re probably thinking why would we want to add more chaos to our lives? Aren’t our lives already busy enough? But the real question should be…if I have a home that is warm, safe, stable, and loving, why not open my home to the innocent little children who need that?

Will my fears hold me back?

Honestly, I was always a little bit of afraid of fostering, due to the fact that there’s a possibility that the child or children that I foster could be reunited with their biological family. Selfishly, I did not want to bring on grief from that kind of separation. It’s hard to imagine bringing a baby home from the hospital at just a few days or a few weeks old, And thinking that you were in a foster to adopt type of situation. And after a few years of raising this child, you get a sudden phone call, or knock on your door, or news at court that this child is leaving your care and reuniting with their biological family. That situation that I just described, that is one of my worst fears. But over the years as I’ve talked to families that have fostered and adopted, my outlook has changed.

A few years ago, there was an adoption panel at my MOPs group. There were three mothers on the panel that had all adopted. Each adoption story was unique. There was a chance to write questions for the adoptive mothers to answer. Since it was anonymous I decided to ask an honest question.

On my little paper, I wrote, “What’s the likelihood that you would be able to adopt in a foster-to-adopt situation?” And the mother, who had adopted two children (a sibling set) from foster care answered, “With a foster care type of situation, you have to approach it in this way….Children in foster care need a loving and stable home. Whether you are that home for a few years, or whether you are their forever home, each and every child deserves that kind of love and stability in their lives.” And honestly when I heard that answer, something clicked. The fears I had had towards fostering were so selfish. There are all kinds of children that are abused and neglected every single day. And while these children are being abused and neglected, I was selfishly thinking about how hard my grief would be, if I raised a foster child and then they were taken away from me. My outlook changed…As hard as my own grief would be, children deserve love, care, and stability. I know my family can provide that.

And I have been through seasons of grief…some easier than others, some more traumatic than others. But with each season of grief that I walked through, I did not walk through those seasons alone. God was with me the entire time. Whether I felt His presence or not. Each time He was there, gently guiding me and comforting me through some of the toughest seasons of my entire life.

What I’m trying to say is, that as hard as grief is, I know that no matter what, God is with me each and every step. My hope is that our foster care journey will look picture perfect…We get a baby from the hospital, with no issues, and the biological parents are ready to terminate parental rights, which leads to a quick and smooth adoption process. In reality, I know that the process can and probably will be excruciatingly hard, will have very challenging times, and could end in grief.

I’m not sure how to end this, but I just wanted to give you a little background on my story and how I came to where I am today. I’m ready to take the next step. I’m ready to open my home, and my heart. These kiddos deserve it.